Et Tu, Glute?

Quite a few times, my neck and shoulder muscles turned on me and heads turned to notice how stiffly I carried myself.  I started blaming the Trapezius for most of my ills, when lo and behold, I was betrayed by a muscle group that normally enabled me to sprint like a cheetah (hope you passed the gullibility test)!  But ‘Glutus’ is an honorable muscle!  Till you pull it.  In which case, it will mercilessly stab you in the lower back and your whole life will flash in front of your horrified eyes. And yes, what’s in a spelling anyway? The Gluteus, by any other name, will still hurt with Maximus effect.

So this brings us back to the importance of being in earnest about fitness.  To be fit or not to be fit is a question that bugged me for a long time.  Needless to say, I chose the latter most of the time.  Did you notice that every time someone uses the phrase ‘needless to say’ they will still say it?  I guess they don’t realize how annoying it is.

Anyway, to return to the tale of two muscles, the body has a weird way of acting up.  Wait! Did I say two? Ah, I recall now. Apparently, life gives you warning signs and most people like me, ignore them.  A few weeks ago, I jumped into a dance routine without a warm up.  By this time, you figured out that 1) my fitness attempts are accomplished in fits and starts and 2) I believe that warm-ups are overrated! And guess what happened?  The unthinkable!  I pulled a muscle.  That time it was the Gluteus Minimus.  I cannot minimize the importance of this muscle as it had its own say in how my life unfolded in the days that followed.  I foolishly expected to receive another warning before the storm hit me, but the body cleverly bypassed the Gluteus Medius and hit me full on with the Gluteus Maximus.

I reeled from the shock and I am still bending over backwards trying to come to terms with it.  After three unproductive days that benefited only the pharma companies, I pledged (to no one in particular) to work out regularly. And now after this heavy and uplifting pledge, I genuinely feel that I have earned my couch time!



2 thoughts on “Et Tu, Glute?”

  1. Clearly pain brings out your witty side – no pain no fun eh 😀 btw did you know couch-time is pronounced with a silent c? Trust me I know and ‘needless to say’ I stick to my couch with ‘do jism magar ek jaan’ kind of commitment. After all what is a little pain for true love 😉 I hope the glutes butt out of your mind soon.


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