Et Tu, Glute?

Quite a few times, my neck and shoulder muscles turned on me and heads turned to notice how stiffly I carried myself.  I started blaming the Trapezius for most of my ills, when lo and behold, I was betrayed by a muscle group that normally enabled me to sprint like a cheetah (hope you passed the gullibility test)!  But ‘Glutus’ is an honorable muscle!  Till you pull it.  In which case, it will mercilessly stab you in the lower back and your whole life will flash in front of your horrified eyes. And yes, what’s in a spelling anyway? The Gluteus, by any other name, will still hurt with Maximus effect.

So this brings us back to the importance of being in earnest about fitness.  To be fit or not to be fit is a question that bugged me for a long time.  Needless to say, I chose the latter most of the time.  Did you notice that every time someone uses the phrase ‘needless to say’ they will still say it?  I guess they don’t realize how annoying it is.

Anyway, to return to the tale of two muscles, the body has a weird way of acting up.  Wait! Did I say two? Ah, I recall now. Apparently, life gives you warning signs and most people like me, ignore them.  A few weeks ago, I jumped into a dance routine without a warm up.  By this time, you figured out that 1) my fitness attempts are accomplished in fits and starts and 2) I believe that warm-ups are overrated! And guess what happened?  The unthinkable!  I pulled a muscle.  That time it was the Gluteus Minimus.  I cannot minimize the importance of this muscle as it had its own say in how my life unfolded in the days that followed.  I foolishly expected to receive another warning before the storm hit me, but the body cleverly bypassed the Gluteus Medius and hit me full on with the Gluteus Maximus.

I reeled from the shock and I am still bending over backwards trying to come to terms with it.  After three unproductive days that benefited only the pharma companies, I pledged (to no one in particular) to work out regularly. And now after this heavy and uplifting pledge, I genuinely feel that I have earned my couch time!



That Elusive Fitness Goal

I stumbled across someone who mentioned the importance of a personal trainer and then my mind drifted off into the past when I briefly had one. Since I haven’t been in the inside of a gym for a while now, this treading into the past is as much to motivate myself as it is to you.

If you are already a member of a gym and find it hard to be a regular, I suggest you get a personal trainer.  Why throw good money after bad, you ask?  This is probably the one place where it will work out well for you!! Contrast it with the stock market – even good money after good, sometimes turns bad altogether, doesn’t it?  If you haven’t had a taste of that, you are quite lucky.

If you don’t go to a gym, I recommend that you do and get a personal trainer – you can live off of that experience for a while.  I thought personal trainers were for the rich and famous, till my gym ran a promotion.  The session was good and had me wanting more.  I instinctively realized that you get what you pay for and I jumped to sign the contract.  It was $100 for four half hour sessions.

If your nose is not too sensitive and hopefully if your trainer is not too sweaty, I swear you won’t regret it.  A personal trainer is just that!  He or she is your personal trainer. So you will start feeling good, right at home, before you even think of exercise.  Your fitness is now a shared responsibility.  When you talk to others, you can display your superior judgment, a sense of pride and that feeling of belonging to the inner circle. Hopefully, you don’t put off too many people with your self-righteousness.

You will go to the gym, because now you have an appointment and an obligation to show up.  You pay attention because if you don’t, you lose money. Your trainer is invested in you, so he will tailor the workout to meet your needs. He will be there with a timer, encouraging you all the while, rooting for you and sometimes pushing you where you would never push yourself. On the flip side, they are the reason you won’t be able to walk normally for at least a week. You will discover muscles that you never had, and pain that you never felt before. My workout before the trainer was like a joke compared to the one with him.

Once he or she has served their purpose, let go of them and think of re-hiring them when you slack off, which is inevitable for most people.

As for myself, after enjoying a few sessions and feeling on top of the world, I quit because I was pregnant and the workout wasn’t working out well. The trainer didn’t know what was okay and what wasn’t, so I had to train him.  And finally, if you ever need to get out of your gym membership, unless you are sick and have a doctor’s note, you won’t be able to outrun your contract!